Family- a change is coming

Seven of the Ten Siblings

Families come in all shapes and sizes. You know that movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," well I am not Greek but the rest is all about right. My father is the fourth of ten children! Yup 10! The number means ALOT, it means I have 30+ cousins and so many other second cousins etc that I can't actually keep track. It is miracle that my Grandmother can, and she does! Not a year goes by that she doesn't remember a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Pretty impressive for a woman in her late 80's.
There are a lot of really cool things that I have gotten from being part of a big family. We joke sometimes about forming a commune because so many of us have little talents.

So what does it mean to come from a huge family? For one thing what I know as a family event is a bit different than what most people think is normal.  So here goes...

1. A family event usually is a gathering of 100 people more or less. Some would arrive early and stay through the whole thing while others would come and go.

• Growing up the parties were usually at my Grandma and Grandpa's house. When you arrived there were a couple rules.  One, you had to eat....obviously.  Two, once you had a seat you didn't move or you would lose your seat.
•  The food is abundant and the biggest variety you can think of. Each one of my dad's siblings have a "signature" dish that they pass. Seriously I remember my mouth would water as we got close to my Grandma's house as a kid. 
• If someone wasn't able to attend a family function you can bet that they would call on my Grandma's awesome old school phone in her kitchen (the best kitchen EVER). Then you could expect that every single person in the house would have to say hello to that person...this part of the night could take awhile.
• People gathered in a few key locations. The family room, the kitchen, the formal living room, and if it was nice outside we would hang out on the driveway. Kids would run around between all the areas playing and laughing while the adults laughed and did whatever adults do.
• There were no quiet areas...like none.
• At any given point someone would be laughing, crying or sleeping. Mostly Grandpa would be sleeping in his overalls on the couch!
• Handmade gifts are AMAZING! Not only can my family cook...everyone has a special talent. Some knit, some crochet, some are crafty, some bake, cook....EVERYONE is creative. 

2. Holidays were always about the kids.Being a kid during the Holidays as part of my family was always awesome and now as an adult I get to see that nothing has changed. Now my children get to experience that.

• Christmas for example, was a sea of wrapping paper, bows and little treasures. The kitchen was full of amazing food, baked goods and tasty adult beverages (for the adults).  My Grandparent's house had the same things every year. 
• A giant tree with presents that engulfed the formal living room. 
• A little wooden advent calendar with candles that spun around. 
• A little music box with figures that ice skated on it. 
• A bowl of nuts and a nutcracker in the family room that everyone played with but I don't think anyone ever ate.
• Someone squeezing their little tush into the high-chair my Grandpa built in the kitchen.

• Fourth of July is full of glow in the dark things, bubbles, backyard barbeques, swimming in the Grandma's lake, fireworks, and games. 

3. Birthday parties were no different. My parents house would be covered from room to room with my Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and of course FOOD.

• My Grandma has NEVER missed a birthday. To this day she still sends me a card.
• Growing up my Aunt Sam had a cool printer and would make cards and send them
• Grandma makes the BEST cakes ever.

Even though as an adult a few things have changed....The location of family events isn't at my Grandparent's home very often etc everything still is the same. My Aunt's have taken over hosting the events and nothing really has changed. There is always loud, contagious laughter and fun happening in every corner. Truly, if you are bored at a "Billeck" event it is because you must be in the wrong place. There is really and truly never a dull moment.

 Until recently I still considered myself a "kid" in my family. Yes I am an adult, I have my own little family but my Aunts and Uncle's still are the grown-ups. All of us "kids" still go to many of the events, parties and functions hosted by the "grown-ups" and occasionally a "kid" will host, occasionally. To add to feeling like there is still the "kids" and "grown-ups" my Grandma is still here and is as feisty as ever. Her kids still go to her for advice and she still has the mom-power over all of her kids. ( true story)

 A couple of days ago that all changed....The realization that the "grown-ups," my aunts and uncles are no longer the grown ups rather the Grandparents, and the "kids" are no longer the kids but the "grown ups" hit me. My father's oldest sibling passed away. It is so sad and something I haven't really let myself feel yet. The truth is that her daughters, my cousins; they are all my age. We have all grown up together. We, "the kids" have shared so many memories growing up and often laugh about our parents.... Yes, as adults we are all married with kiddos but there was still that whole illusion that we were still the kids.

 Thinking about how my cousins are dealing with this emotional roller-coaster of losing a parent means has fostered so many new and strange feelings. The honest truth is that this is one of the first times I have felt like I am actually getting older. It hit me that my parents and my aunts and uncles are not going to live forever. This huge family that I love being part of his going to change over the next decade and I am NOT prepared for it.

So many questions:
What happens to big families like this? Do they all stick together? Do the generations continue the old traditions? Do we pass down funny stories and memories? How do we prepare for all the changes? Can you?

Even as I write this I can't put into words how I am feeling. I am sad for the loss of my Aunt. My heart is broken for my dear dear cousins and the rest of my family. This loss is new emotions, ones I have never felt and don't know how to feel.....

Here is what I do know:

I know that tomorrow when I get to my Aunt's memorial there will be laughing, crying, hugs and joy. 

I know my Mom and Dad will be there and I will see them in a whole new light.

I know that my Aunt's and Uncle's will reminisce about "the good old days."

I know that my cousins and I are now the "grown ups" and our children are the "kids"
I know that there will be tasty food and company.

I know that it will be one of the hardest moments in my cousins lives. 

I know that this loss is more that words can say.

Coming from a big family is amazing....THAT is something that I have always known and will forever know.

Cheers

7 Years ago at a Birthday Party