Mom's Day off and GUILT

So any Mom will tell you that all we want is some time to ourselves....Then the second we have it we think about our kids, talk about our kids and miss them. How messed up is that?

Yesterday I left for a weekend full of Jamberry fun up in Chicago. My family stayed at home for a boys weekend...To leave was hard enough. My youngest son Oliver was having a really hard time all morning and trust me I was ready to leave. Got in the car and I immediately thought to myself "do I need to go?" YES! I did and DO need to go.  My drive was about five hours and I made some business calls, catch-up with friends calls, and listened to some music and was lovely. Then it happened. My dinner plans got cancelled.

So I ended up eating dinner alone. It sounds so romantic and idealistic. I got to eat a whole meal on my own; sitting at the bar and enjoying a drink all the while with no children. Then I hear the random little cry or giggle of the nearest kiddo and my heart aches for my children to be there with me. It is so strange right?!
All week I was looking forward to this downtime, to this quite time just to myself. Then as soon as I have it I just want to be with my family. Weird right?

So here is what I think.

We want it all. We can't have it all. The balance that we are always striving to find probably doesn't exist. Our children make our days long and nights short. They make us long for the days when we didn't have a million silly tasks to do. They make us miss that old existence.

The other thing they do is harder to focus on...for me at least
They make me laugh at what they say. They remind me how honest their love is. They make me see the world through different eyes. They will only be little once. They surprise me everyday. They make me look forward to new experiences.

Being away I am lonely. I miss my husband and kiddos but this is good for me too. My boys are getting some serious Papa time. My husband is getting some serious kiddo time. I am getting some needed Mama time.  I realize that I need to be ok with not having tasks to complete all the time. I need to be ok with just sitting and doing something for myself. All moms do.

If you are a mom or a parent that never has mom guilt WHOA do I envy that.

So as I sit here in a coffee shop I am enjoying my time. I "worked" this morning with an awesome hostess. I am "working" again tonight with another awesome hostess and all the while I am getting some time to re-charge! I can't wait to see my kiddos tomorrow...I also know that on Monday I am sure my kiddos will get on my nerves and I will want time off....We want it all.

Cheers