Dimes

Over the past week or so I have mentioned a few things about "dimes." Since then- I have had a few questions about them in regards to my father. 

For as long as I can remember my Dad always carried a pocket full of change. When he would get ready to leave for work he would scoop the change up in his hand and put all the change in his pocket. When he got home in the evening, the change would return to the counter and wait for him to scoop it up the next day. This happened every. single. day.

There are moments that happen each day that really impact us, moments that we don't realize really make us who we are until they come back and remind us....thus, the dimes.

So, let me explain more. 

I cared for my father with my Mom, sister Rachel, and Aunt Carla. The four of us barely left the house- let alone the room.  During that time he had so many visitors, messages, video calls, phone calls, and messages of love and support. When I would take a moment to move around the house I would always notice piles of change everywhere. There were some in the bathroom, the guest bathroom, his office, next to his chair, and of course the counter.  I made little mental notes about the change everywhere but it wasn't until my father actually passed that I made a bigger connection to the dimes. A connection that makes me feel warmth, light, and love.

When cleaning up after my Dad was brought to the funeral home we were changing the sheets and a random dime was on the bed. When changing a pillowcase, a dime flew out and landed at my feet. When getting ready the next morning and pulling clothes out of my backpack, another dime lay gently on the bottom. These moments continued to happen many times per day as we moved around in a fog and haze of loss. Sure, some will say it is a coincidence since there was change everywhere- but it wasn't just change...It was always a dime. 

I like to think - and I find comfort in thinking - that these are from my Dad. 

Since being home, I have had big emotions. The other day I sat back and thought that maybe I was wrong about the dimes. Maybe it was just a thing that happened. Maybe I found too much comfort in seeing these dimes.  Then it happened. Last night while cleaning up and putting things away...there it was....a shiny dime.  It shook me to my core. It made me smile and laugh. It was in a place that I would NEVER put coins. So, Dad, thanks!  I love you too!

If you see a dime- take a moment to say "Hi" to my dad- Frankie.

Cheers