Things never go as planned but ALWAYS work out....Gus Andrew
There are so many emotions running through me while I write this. On April 26th 2013 at 1:29pm my wonderful, amazing and incredibly strong husband and I welcomed our son, Gus Andrew into our family. He made is arrival weighing in at 8lbs 9oz and was 21 in long after a long and emotional journey of almost 42 weeks of pregnancy and 46 hours of labor.
On Wednesday, April 24th, I started to have some contractions. It had been a rough week already seeing as we were starting to be faced with the idea of being induced if our little Baby Dubs didn't make a natural entrance. So Wednesday night Andy and I timed our contractions and tried not to get too excited until we knew we were in labor. We fell asleep that night with a secret little hope that we would be woken up and we would be welcoming our little baby. Thursday morning we woke up with some contractions still but a little saddened that labor had not started actively, just early first stage still. We made our drive to see our midwife and for the first time were given news that my body had FINALLY started to make progress!!! YAY US!! We kept our news a little secret and had lunch with my in-laws, later we drove home with an anxious quietness. Who knew....A few hours later my contractions were much more intense and closer together. I will admit I started to get scared a little bit...Could we really do this? As always Andy was a rock...Super encouraging, calming, supportive and re-assuring....I think around 5pm that night our doula arrived to see how we were doing. She gave us some advice and told me that this was it...I was finally hearing the words I needed to hear..."this is real labor." There was a sigh of relief and also a raised amount of nerves because...this was it. Andy and I continued to labor at home together. He danced with me, massaged my back, rubbed my shoulders, held me when I cried and kept telling me how great I was doing. As Andy filled our labor tub up at home I took a shower and tried to get some rest while the water helped me relax. 10:30pm rolled around and I had been rocking some hard contractions for about 7 hours. I was starting to get really uncomfortable and scared so Andy asked our doula to return and remain with us. She arrived and tried to reassure me that this would be the worst of the pain, active labor would be the worst and in just a bit we would have our baby. Great news!!! Our midwife arrived around midnight and we had made even more progress...yay! Well, yes but also I was really starting to have a hard time. My husband, who I will never be able to say how much I love him or how amazing he is, continued to tell me I could do this, that I was amazing, doing great and he was so proud of me never left my side. He helped me get into the labor tub and rubbed my back as the contractions got worse and closer together with a heaviness and pressure that I didn't know existed. The pain in my back was ripping and intense and rarely let up. Yes, I will admit I became the moaning woman begging to be done as tears streamed down my face. Nausea set in and I was having a hard time seeing that an end was going to come to this pain. 1:30am the midwife asked Andy to help me get out of the tub to see where we were, FINALLY my water broke and I was SO close to being ready to push. Andy helped me into the shower to try and relax a little more and gave me encouragement to continue with this. He held my eyes, hands and heart in his and told me how great I was doing and he was so proud of me. We got out of the shower and because our little one was so comfy he seemed to be stuck in a certain position. So our doula tried to move my hips around to get the little Baby Dubs to shift into a more comfortable position out of my back. After our little dance I got back into the tub to labor some more and the nausea worsened when the pain became blinding. In between the contractions I tried to hug the side of the cool vinyl on the tub and close my eyes. I would tell myself to breathe, relax and soon I would be holding our baby. I listened to the music Andy had put on and tried to just be. A contraction would hit me like a wall of fire that radiated from my back throughout my entire body. The wall of fire brought with it a wave of nausea that was so intense I couldn't hold back anymore. Finally I asked if this was almost over...I had been hearing it all night that we were so close, so close...They all helped me out of the tub the last time and we found out that I was actually regressing in progress and our baby was stuck...The head was on an angle so we were in this for a little bit longer. Andy held my hand as I sobbed. So exhausted, drained, in pain and now even more scared that there was no end. I decided to go into the bathroom and try and calm myself down. The pain was so intense that I was sweating although it was cool in the house and I cried for Andy to help me, in any way. I begged him to take me somewhere. Looking back I can't imagine the pressure and pain I put on my husband....Here he is, my partner, watching me in pain and crying...all the while asking him to help me and telling him I can't do this anymore. He held me in the bathroom as I cried and begged. He left for only a moment to speak with the midwife and the doula and returned saying it was time to go to the hospital...As we scrambled to leave the house...I had to kneel on the seat as we made the 30 minute drive to the hospital. I cried and screamed like I was my own police siren. Andy was so strong. He drove safely and quickly and tried to keep me as calm as he could.
When we arrived to the hospital it was a like a scene from a movie. It was 4:30 in the morning. The lobby was dark and the security guard was taken by surprise, here is this very pregnant woman crying in pain. He pointed to the elevator and said "4th floor." Andy wheeled me into the elevator and we were met my the most kind and caring nurse I have ever encountered when the doors opened. Tracy greeted us at the Labor and Delivery doors and immediately made me focus. She got us into the room and worked so fast. Our doula and midwife were in the room with us and continued to try and help me relax. At this point I was crying upset, scared, in pain and beyond tired. Not to mention the huge amount of disappointment I had in myself for caving and begging to go to the hospital. Tracy started my IV and gave me some medication that made me spin. I remember she held me up as the doctor came in and gave me an epidural. I was so grateful for how quickly everything went. The doctor had asked everyone to leave the room while he put in the epidural and by the time Andy was let back in the room I was finally able to relax. In and out of sleep I could see my loving and amazing husband crying and talking with our midwife and doula. He stepped out of the room for a moment to call our parents and I asked if he was ok. Our midwife explained that as emotional this had been for me he was afraid he had let me be in that much pain for too long. Heart-breaking. Up until that point I had only seen how strong he is, how much he believed in me. I never thought about how hard it would be for him to see me go through all that...He returned to the room and I saw my amazing husband and again was reminded how much he loves me but more so how our connection to one another is so strong and so important on each of us. He will never know the insane and infinite amount of love and respect I have for him. Andy is my rock, my partner, my lover and the person who gives me strength.
We were lucky enough that our midwife practice works with a great doctors office, who also uses midwives. So once I was more comfortable and gotten some rest another wonderful midwife came in and asked if we were ready to meet our little baby. We had had the pleasure of meeting her at our very first midwife appointment oh so long ago and it reminded us that things all come full circle. It was 9:30 in the morning and the baby had finally moved, I was complete so we were ready. The flood of emotions consumed Andy and I as we prepared to meet our little baby. This little person that had consumed my body, my mind and our hearts for the past 41.5 weeks. We got ready and pushed a couple times. The midwife recognized that we both were exhausted and asked me to stop. She politely asked everyone except Andy and I to leave the room and she asked if it would be ok if we both tried to get some rest for an hour or so. We, emotional raw and consumed my the happenings of the last 48 hours agreed and once again my hero, my love, my husband crawled into my hospital bed with me and we napped. It was the first time in so long that we were "just us" as the story goes. We laid there together and held one another and took a breath, a moment to realize where we were, what we were doing and the most important thing is that we were safe, together and encompassed in one anothers love.
After some sleep my contractions had slowed down a bit so the midwife started me on some medication to increase them back to pushing abilities. Another hour past I started to feel the need and desire to push. At about 1 o'clock one of the midwives from the doctor's office came back in with our midwife and our doula. Andy stayed right there with me holding my hand and my eye contact as this was really it...After all this we were going to meet this little baby. After a few rounds of pushing I heard the room light up with excitement as I held my arms out and for the first time held my baby. My partner was at my side as our beautiful baby was laid on my chest and Andy whispered into my ear, "we have a son." Tears exploded from my eyes and everything other than Andy, myself and this baby in our arms disappeared from the room. For what seemed like eternity we were the only three beings on the planet. "Just us" like it has been since the moment I met Andy, only now it was Andy, Sara and Baby Gus.
Multiple times over the next 24 hours I could only think and hear the music that Andy had played during the hardest part of my labor. The lyrics speak the truth and will always have a special place in my heart.
Thank you Andrew, the man who holds me up, keeps me strong, believes in me, and has shown me what true unconditional love is. There are no words to describe the amazing gift you have given me with your love and now our beautiful son. I am forever grateful. As always, I look forward to all of our journeys together and I am beyond happy that this is where it has taken us so far.
When we arrived to the hospital it was a like a scene from a movie. It was 4:30 in the morning. The lobby was dark and the security guard was taken by surprise, here is this very pregnant woman crying in pain. He pointed to the elevator and said "4th floor." Andy wheeled me into the elevator and we were met my the most kind and caring nurse I have ever encountered when the doors opened. Tracy greeted us at the Labor and Delivery doors and immediately made me focus. She got us into the room and worked so fast. Our doula and midwife were in the room with us and continued to try and help me relax. At this point I was crying upset, scared, in pain and beyond tired. Not to mention the huge amount of disappointment I had in myself for caving and begging to go to the hospital. Tracy started my IV and gave me some medication that made me spin. I remember she held me up as the doctor came in and gave me an epidural. I was so grateful for how quickly everything went. The doctor had asked everyone to leave the room while he put in the epidural and by the time Andy was let back in the room I was finally able to relax. In and out of sleep I could see my loving and amazing husband crying and talking with our midwife and doula. He stepped out of the room for a moment to call our parents and I asked if he was ok. Our midwife explained that as emotional this had been for me he was afraid he had let me be in that much pain for too long. Heart-breaking. Up until that point I had only seen how strong he is, how much he believed in me. I never thought about how hard it would be for him to see me go through all that...He returned to the room and I saw my amazing husband and again was reminded how much he loves me but more so how our connection to one another is so strong and so important on each of us. He will never know the insane and infinite amount of love and respect I have for him. Andy is my rock, my partner, my lover and the person who gives me strength.
We were lucky enough that our midwife practice works with a great doctors office, who also uses midwives. So once I was more comfortable and gotten some rest another wonderful midwife came in and asked if we were ready to meet our little baby. We had had the pleasure of meeting her at our very first midwife appointment oh so long ago and it reminded us that things all come full circle. It was 9:30 in the morning and the baby had finally moved, I was complete so we were ready. The flood of emotions consumed Andy and I as we prepared to meet our little baby. This little person that had consumed my body, my mind and our hearts for the past 41.5 weeks. We got ready and pushed a couple times. The midwife recognized that we both were exhausted and asked me to stop. She politely asked everyone except Andy and I to leave the room and she asked if it would be ok if we both tried to get some rest for an hour or so. We, emotional raw and consumed my the happenings of the last 48 hours agreed and once again my hero, my love, my husband crawled into my hospital bed with me and we napped. It was the first time in so long that we were "just us" as the story goes. We laid there together and held one another and took a breath, a moment to realize where we were, what we were doing and the most important thing is that we were safe, together and encompassed in one anothers love.
After some sleep my contractions had slowed down a bit so the midwife started me on some medication to increase them back to pushing abilities. Another hour past I started to feel the need and desire to push. At about 1 o'clock one of the midwives from the doctor's office came back in with our midwife and our doula. Andy stayed right there with me holding my hand and my eye contact as this was really it...After all this we were going to meet this little baby. After a few rounds of pushing I heard the room light up with excitement as I held my arms out and for the first time held my baby. My partner was at my side as our beautiful baby was laid on my chest and Andy whispered into my ear, "we have a son." Tears exploded from my eyes and everything other than Andy, myself and this baby in our arms disappeared from the room. For what seemed like eternity we were the only three beings on the planet. "Just us" like it has been since the moment I met Andy, only now it was Andy, Sara and Baby Gus.
Multiple times over the next 24 hours I could only think and hear the music that Andy had played during the hardest part of my labor. The lyrics speak the truth and will always have a special place in my heart.
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| Our Little Family! |
My gosh Sara that was amazing. Your writing makes me feel like I was with you the whole time.Thank you thank you for letting us see into your life's window while you brought that beautiful baby into the world.
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